This cat has mastered the art of the eye roll, the suspicious stare, and making somebody else pay for dinner.

Featuring the adult-humor warning: “If I roll my eyes, you’ve earned it. If I purr, you’re buying dinner, drinks, and treats.”

Perfect for cat people, professional sass machines, and anyone who can turn one look into a full relationship review.

Made to order on a soft cotton or 50/50 blend shirt, available in ten colors including tie dye, with sizes S through 3XL.

Warning: may cause purring, side-eye, and unexpected snack expenses.